I Exist
by Galaxy Little
Summary: A Spy one-shot.


They're pretending. They have to be pretending.

It started out as a simple glitch in my cloaking device, when I couldn't get it to turn on. I had Engineer look at it, and he said it was fine. He promised it would be fine, that it was just some minor setback and would fix itself with Respawn.

One Respawn trip later, I found he was wrong. I did get it to turn on, but I was indefinitely made invisible. Of course, I took advantage of this during the battle, finding it to be inherently useful, and just assumed it would run out of battery at some point and I could replace it. Once the battle ended, to my surprise, the technology stayed strong, showing no signs of fading.

Every time I tried to take it off, it burned right into my skin, shooting electric waves through my body and rendering me unconscious, a bit longer every time. I asked Engineer to take it off, but he said it was near impossible, especially when he couldn't see me. He took it up with the Administrator, but to no avail. No one responded for weeks.

The next battle rolled around, and I was forced to fight with the never-ending pain surging through my veins. I captured their Intel. I made it to our base. We won each round, but at what cost to me? I could feel myself slipping away, and even fainted at one point. When I woke up, it was a day later, but I was glad to find my cloaking device removed and even my wrist healed and visibility restored. I was pleased, until I arrived at the recreational room in our base.

Everyone was there, making idle talk, eating a snack, watching TV, or taking a nap, in Sniper's case. It was a normal weekend, I could assume. I alerted everyone of my presence, saying hello, and that I was alright, but confused why no one found me. Nobody responded. No one even acknowledged me. I figured I must have done something to upset them, but even Medic would have had the decency to at least look up.

At first, I ignored it. I usually do things that even I'm not aware of that irritate others. Medic hates it when I smoke, although it's become an automatic reflex and I'm not entirely aware of it when I'm around him. Heavy and Soldier hate the way I cook - for some reason they can't stand the smell or look of my food - I figure it must be too high-quality for their tastes. Scout hates the way I look and talk, which I can't necessarily help. Despite all my unpleasantness, I do try to conform to their needs. We're a team, and if I selfishly refuse to change behaviors that could disrupt their work, then what kind of team member would I be?

Eventually, their ignorance of my existence became a nuisance. The farthest I ever got was when I would walk in the room, and people would sniff the air as if something had died, or when I knocked off Sniper's hat out of frustration, and he acted as if it had done it on its own. I screamed at one point, right in Scout's ear, but all I ever got was a "You hear that?" and a shrug from Demoman. Not even Pyro, a usually uncomfortably lovable character, would look me curiously in the eyes.

This soon became too much for me. I knew I was visible. I knew I was here. I could physically feel myself as well as material things, and I _knew_ they could see me. I've been conditioned my entire life to endure torture beyond that of which anyone could imagine, but this...this was cruelty. They were my team; the closest thing to family I had over the course of my life. I had to find out what I did to make this happen, why they were refusing to acknowledge me. I went to Engineer. He was stubborn, but he was still a kind person. Him, of all people would eventually tell me if I met him in private.

I knocked on his room's door, right after he entered and shut it. He called out, "Who's there?" I answered him. There was a pause. "Hello?" I snapped, a sudden wave of anger flushing over me, and I kicked open the door. Engineer stood there, shocked and...a little terrified? Why would he be scared of me when he usually wanted nothing to do with me? I yelled at him, but all he did was walk over to inspect the door. I don't remember why, but I threw his dispenser to the ground. It was a big project he was working on to upgrade it, and I destroyed it, but I did not feel any mercy at the time. I stormed out of the room, but he ran out of it, towards the Recreational area. I sighed, and lit a cigarette.

By this time, I had tried talking to everyone. This must have been some sick joke played by them, plotted by Scout or someone who held a huge grudge, and I was having none of it. I even tried talking to Medic, who would have at least batted an eye at me. I ended up pleading with him to look at me in the least, but he kept his focus on his papers. He seemed a bit more stressed than usual, and I was hoping he'd crack, but he did not. I gave up before he did.

The next day, I could not find anyone in the base for a long time, so I went to the Communications room where they usually gather if there's an issue that needs to be solved. The Administrator was on the big screen, and I quietly slipped into the room. She informed them that a new Spy would be arriving, aiming to successfully replace me. My anger knew no bounds by then. I screamed once more, shouting and yelling, and I hate to admit it, but I teared up and held back sobs. This was going on for two weeks. There had been no battles, oddly enough - only my seclusion from the group. Amongst my noises, the muffled distressed noises of Scout could be heard, and Engineer and Heavy attempted to calm him.

It had just then occurred to me that I might have died and Respawn had not brought me back.

I shook that thought out of my head. No. NO! They had to be pretending! There was no way this could be real! Why would they do this to me!? I know I'm here! I know they can see me!

I ran out of the room, slamming the door open, ignoring the shocked gasps of my coworkers. We were a team, and they were betraying me. I never thought this would happen, either. They're usually not the brightest of people, but combined, I suppose, they could definitely have developed this plan. I hid on the roof for the longest time, looking down as the new Spy arrived, watching over my teammates as they fought. I got bored after some time, and explored the base and the outside. I watched as time passed by with little to no effort for me, watching the sun disappear behind the endless horizon of a desert. I accidentally stepped on some uneven dirt and gravel, and glanced down….

There, I found a makeshift tombstone beneath my feet.

_SPY_

_He was a good man._

I yelped, stumbling backwards and falling on my backside. I dropped my cigarette. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. They had to be faking. This was a termination vote, and they were kicking me out in the worst manner possible.

I know I'm alive.

I know they can see me.

I'm here. I exist.

_I exist._

_**I exist.**_


End file.
